'My husband's ghost is with me everywhere I go, even in the bedroom'
Nicky Wake said her late husband had always spoke about wanting a threesome before he passed away
A widow from Manchester has revealed how she met another woman to honour her late husband - and claims that she felt his presence in the bedroom.
Nicky Wake has spoken candidly about a phenomenon known as widow’s fire, which is an increase in libido that can take place following the death of a partner. She explained that while her husband Andy always spoke about wanting a threesome, it was something she also fantasised about.
But it wasn’t until after his tragic death that she made it a reality, connecting with another woman who knew about her widowed status while a picture of her husband was in the room.
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She went on to rediscover her sexuality by sleeping with the woman with Andy’s picture present in the room and said she 'felt his presence' and was 'reassured' it's what he would have wanted.
“I used to joke that I’d treat him to it for his 60th birthday,” said Nicky. “The truth is, I identify as bisexual, so it was also a fantasy of mine.
“I was always a little hesitant about introducing a third person into what was a deeply loving and fulfilling relationship, but as a one-off for a special occasion, it felt like it could be fun and memorable for both of us.”
The 53-year-old explained that she and her late husband Andy, who passed away in 2020 at the age of 54 from Covid, had very nearly made the fantasy a reality on a few occasions.
Once at a naturist beach in Jamaica when they got to know a flirty American couple and again at a New Year’s party. But on both occasions, they never actually went through with it, as reported by NeedToKnow.
She said: “If we were going to go for it, I assumed we’d either use a specialist dating site or perhaps hire an escort. Tragically, Andy then suffered a series of catastrophic heart attacks that led to a severe brain injury, leaving him with no capacity.
“He was only 54. We lost him to Covid in 2020 when he was in a care home. Before Andy became ill, we had a passionate and satisfying sex life. I couldn’t imagine never feeling that again.
“About a year after he passed, and four years after his initial diagnosis, I started dating again. I was 49.”
Nicky, like many modern daters, looked for new connections online and said she listed herself as bisexual on a dating website.
She said: “I’d had relationships with women in the past, and I wasn’t ready to be intimate with another man. Andy had been the only one for 20 years. It felt less intimidating to connect with a woman.
“I was honest about being newly widowed, nervous, out of practice, and said that this would be my first experience since Andy.”
It wasn’t long before Nicky got lucky on the website and met an 'incredibly kind' woman who she met for a coffee before 'one thing led to another'.
Nicky said: “She thanked me for being open and told me she’d be honoured to help me feel something other than grief.
“She also reassured me that Andy would want me to rediscover my sexuality. As we moved to the bedroom, she noticed his picture and said what a beautiful photo it was.
“She added, ‘If he were here, I’d have happily slept with you both.’ She gently reassured me again not to feel guilty.
“I don’t believe in a literal afterlife, but I felt his presence as we had sex. I often do, especially in moments of transition. This felt like a step into a future I hadn’t imagined, one he’d absolutely support.
“I could almost hear him say, 'You deserve joy. Just don’t forget me.' I never will. He was my soulmate.”
Nicky now identifies as a polyamorous bisexual and said she has a few ongoing relationships with multiple people. She advises any other widowers to not live the remainder of their lives with regrets as “life is short and precious”.
Nicky, who has founded a dating website specifically for widowers called Widows Fire, added: “Above all, be open about your situation and your desires.”